Sherlock Holmes

Blah, blah, blah something about the end of 2009. Sherlock Holmes!

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

"Guy Ritchie can fuck off and die in a fire for all I care. He couldn't direct an orgy in a centre for recovering nymphomaniacs and will never, ever redeem himself in my eyes.".That quotation is my convenient and sadly fictional, personal account of Mr. Ritchie's body of work. Truth be told though, I probably would have said it at some point if it wasn't for Sherlock Holmes - the least Ritchie-like film he's done and probably the closest to redemption he will get in my book.

"Madame, I need you to remain calm and trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow lies the key to my release. "

When crime-solving duo Sherlock Holmes (Robert Downey Jr.) and Dr. John Watson (Jude Law) get caught up in the case of Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), things take a turn for the supernatural as Blackwood can apparently cheat death and seems to have otherworldly powers at his disposal. Things get more complicated when Holmes' old flame Irene Adler (Rachel McAdams) is added to the mix. The plot itself is pretty good, with the main success of the film being the banter and general relationship between Holmes and Watson. Mark Strong was fine as the generic baddie Blackwood, McAdams was good, but underused as Irene and Eddie Marsan was great as Inspector Lestrade. This is a broad comic-book take on the Holmes stories and I think it works well. The stylised steampunk-esque (shut up, I know something isn't steampunk if you set it "in olden times" and chuck a few cogs and gears on it) Victorian London setting also works fantastically well.

Jesus, look at Downey Jr. now. Thanks to Jon "Iron Man" Favreau for reminding us en masse how good he was and is capable of being. I loved his performance as Holmes for many different reasons. Downey Jr. seems to be playing him as a high functioning autistic- with few social skills and a brilliant eye for small details. If I remember my Conan Doyle (and I don't remember much) Holmes was portrayed as very much this sort of character in his earlier adventures and it was refreshing to see the character go back to his literary roots. I thought the bare-knuckle boxing and Holmes' approach to combat were both brilliantly done - although the slow-motion boxing screamed Snatch so loud I went temporarily deaf. There's a fantastic scene where Watson's fiancee Mary (Kelly Reilly) asks Holmes to deduce things about her. Holmes brilliantly dissects everything about her without any consideration for tact or feeling. He ends the scene eating alone with indignantly thrown wine dripping down the side of his face. I thought Jude Law's Watson was a great foil to RDJ's Holmes. The banter between the two is the film's major strength and it's always fun to watch them bicker.

 The integral clue solving scenes were great too, really giving the impression that we were watching a master at work. It left me with a big smile on my face. I was surprised at the verbose nature of the average line of dialogue. I'm glad things weren't dumbed down for the average arsehead cinema goer (although a "farting dog" gag slips through the net). I do kind of wish that this incarnation of Holmes had a proper mystery to sink his teeth into. Yes, there are things that aren't immediately explainable, such as Blackwood being seen breaking out of his own tomb, but for me it didn't quite click in a way that even certain episodes of Columbo or Jonathan Creek did. Here's hoping we get something substantial for the sequel.

My initial problem with the film was the fact that Ritchie directed it. The man is all style and no substance. He really thinks he's being deep and poetic when he's being dull and obvious. An example of this was the constant cutting to a raven whenever Blackwood was around. We see this fucking bird about 6 or 7 times. Jesus, we get it already! It kept reminding me of that running gag in The Simpsons when you always hear a crow cawing every time you see the nuclear power plant. However, in terms of tone, Ritchie and Holmes are a perfect match. The main problem I had with me ol' geezer Guy was that everything was hyperedited and juvenile. However, Sherlock Holmes doesn't have that need to be taken seriously that has made most of the Ritchie back catalogue a masterclass in pretentiousness and unintentional camp. Some of the shots he chooses to use also baffle me. There's that bit at the beginning of Snatch where the frame goes a full 360 degrees and looks like it was done on a PC from 1995. There's one such shot in Holmes where a big Frenchie lad is running away from Holmes and Watson. The camera focuses on a "This Way Up" note on a box only to pull out and reveal that- ha! The camera and the box are upside down. It's fine though and a very minor point.The same goes for the explosion (intentionally vague here to avoid spoilers) where everything ssssssllllllllloooooooooooowwwwwwwwssssssss down. It's pretty but there's no real sense of actual danger or "oomph". I reckon Holmes would have been a much better film if Ritchie didn't have the directorial reigns in his mouth, drooling over them like a concussed toddler. Having said that, maybe a more competent director would have had a less fun approach to it all.

"You do know what you're drinking is meant for eye surgery?"

Still, it's clear that this film is intended to be the first in a franchise and there are some solid and fun foundations to build upon here, especially with the true to essence takes on Holmes and Watson. It's a really entertaining watch and is definitely recommended viewing.Thank fuck the stupid and untrue line "Elementary, my dear Watson" didn't appear.

Avatar

I wouldn't be much of an amateur film reviewer if I didn't set my cinematic sights on James Cameron's Avatar. On a personal note, I've been ignoring this blog of late, which is inexcusable. I do apologise. Now, onto the blue cat people!

Avatar (2009)

I'm sure I wasn't the only one thinking that James Cameron had gone a bit crazy with his work on Avatar. After all, when a respected director like Cameron works on a project for 14 years and then the first images released of said project depict some weird Smurf/feline hybrid, it's perfectly natural to assume that maybe not all of his dogs are barking. Regardless, I decided to check it out in super-dynamic, wallet-raping 3D no less.

"You are not in Kansas anymore. You are on Pandora, ladies and gentlemen."

When his twin brother is killed, disabled ex-Marine Jake Sully (Sam Worthington) is recruited to aid a mining expedition on the distant jungle moon of Pandora as only his DNA will bond with the alien hybrid body, known as an Avatar, that allows humans to breathe the toxic air. However, Jake falls in love with one of the native aliens Na'vi hunter Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and things start to go awry. The plot itself is nothing new- it's pretty much Pocahontas meets Fern Gully. Whilst that description is scarily close to my own personal vision of Hell, it's passable. Sam Worthington is much better here than in Terminator: Fermentation and Zoe Saldana is brilliant as Neytiri. It was great to see Sigourney Weaver back in the limelight too. Story-wise, Avatar is as average as you can get. Supposed plot twists are signposted so clearly earlier in the film that there is no element of surprise whatsoever when they do finally roll around. The dialogue is a bit of a problem too, with some exchanges so clunky and awkward it caused me to flashback to Attack of the Clones like a scarred Vietnam War vet.

However, Avatar's charm does not lie in story. Cameron has created a fantastic world in the form of the lush vistas of Pandora. Floating mountains, breathtakingly beautiful flora and fauna and some of the most imaginative creatures you'll ever see all inhabit this stunning landscape. I genuinely had my mouth agape in parts of the film, a very rare occurrence for me. The Na'vi are brilliantly done too, with a language and customs all of their own. It's very difficult to not get swept up in it all. The 3D is pretty impressive too, although I think that 3D is a silly gimmick, I've never seen a more justified reason for the technology. It would take someone far more cynical than I to not be impressed by the opening scenes of the film, let alone the first moments we get to see Pandora.

"Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world and in here is the dream."

I'm extremely conflicted about what to give Avatar. It's technically astounding, but the script is too damn average to back up the amazing visuals. It reminded me of something like Captain EO or Honey, I Shrunk The Audience! at DisneyWorld. Much like them, Avatar is a tremendously fun experience but not really a great film. You'll leave the cinema buzzing, but unlike something like District 9 (Best film of 2009 at the Benjys™) I can't really see it having much life beyond the cinema or holding up to repeat viewings on DVD. So, I've decided to hedge my bets. I figure that if the film is a five star experience, but a three star story then it would make sense to give it four, with some free advice thrown in- go and see it at the cinema, it just won't be as good at home.

District 13

"Hey, remember the BBC1 adverts in 2001 of a man free-running across London to watch his television? Well, they were pretty cool right? They should make a film of it. They have? Awesome!"

District 13 (2004)

No, not a sequel to District 9, but a film from 2004 from director Pierre Morel. Set in the “near future” (2013, so not that far in the future then), it tells the story of Leïto (David Belle, the guy from the BBC adverts), who is particularly adept at free-running (or parkour, if you’re in the business, which I’m not), and his attempts to stop a bomb in the middle of ‘District 13’, a Parisian shanty town where not even the police dare tread.

“I'm retired as of tonight and I'd like to take advantage of it. It was her or me. I'm sorry.”

At the beginning of the film, Leïto rescues his sister, Lola (Dany Verissimo) from one of District 13's drug barons, but is instead framed and sent to jail. He is then paired up with policeman Damien Tomaso (Cyril Raffaelli, another free-runner) to break into District 13 and stop the bomb (which has landed in the hands of the same baron who framed Leïto). So far so clichéd. However, there is a moral dilemma; the district is so corrupt (somewhere in the film it is mentioned that it is about 50% corrupt, which is convenient), is it better to let the bomb go off, and easily remove the problem district. It’s here that the film fails. This issue is mentioned once or twice, but never really discussed in depth. I know this is an action film, but it doesn’t mean there is no room for intelligent discussion.

“Where did you learn that?” “A cookbook or some official manual... I don't remember.”

The action is ok, and this was before the fantastic parkour crane chase in Casino Royale. It’s just as the film appears to be a vehicle for the parkour skills of Belle and Raffaelli, there isn’t really that much free-running, save for the beginning and end. Having said that, the fight in which Damien and Leïto meet is really well choreographed, and wouldn’t look out of place in a Bourne or (new) Bond film. Yet the main actors don’t seem that qualified to carry a whole film. They don’t appear convincing, and this is nothing to do with me not speaking French. The only character really worth bothering about is Lola, and that is because she was the only character to have any sort of spine. Oh, and the main henchman of the drug baron, but that’s because henchmen are generally good characters.

Finally, it’s a bit of an odd gripe, but the title doesn’t work. In France, the film is called Banlieue 13, and soi s reffered to as ‘B13’ in all the writing throughout the film (excluding the subtitles), not D13. In the climax of the film this is quite crucial. Fundamentally so, in fact. Therefore, why not call the film ‘Borough 13’? We’d still understand it. In conclusion, it’s an average film. The action is ok, but there are better examples (including the BBC advert), and the story needed far better execution, which could have provided better examples of free-running. Personally, I’d rather they made a film of this Frenchman, to display his skills.

Rob Bender