Zombieland

Yes, I've caught the reviewing bug again. After listlessly updating this site recently, I found myself drawn back into ranting and raving like...well, a ranting and raving thing that's forgotten how much it likes ranting and raving. So, I decided to catch up on some of the reviews I failed to do last year. First up, "Biggest Surprise of the Year" winner at the 2009 Benjys™, Zombieland.

Zombieland (2009)

I must admit, like most misanthropes, I do find the idea of a zombie apocalypse appealing. I'm not sure how I'd do if faced with hordes of creatures who want to bite my face off, but fuck it, I've survived numerous trips to Merthyr Tydfil, so I reckon I could survive anywhere.

"It's amazing how fast the world can go from "bad" to "total shitstorm"."

After an outbreak concerning an infected burger, 99% of the World's population are now the living impaired. We join a survivor nicknamed "Columbus" (Jesse Eisenberg) as he travels across the U.S.A. in search of his parents. Along the way he meets gun-totin', Twinkie-huntin' badass Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson) and the sisterly team of Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). What I liked about Zombieland was the fact that it keeps things simple. The main cast (ignoring all the zombies, extras and brilliant cameos) totals about 5 people, which means we can focus on exploring the characters we're with rather than introducing pointless, superfluous additions.

Jesse Eisenberg is pretty good as Columbus. I know every other reviewer has said this, but he really is so like Michael Cera it becomes a bit distracting. Woody Harrelson is definitely the stand-out, clearly having a whale of a time. I thought the girls' characters were pretty annoying, really. Emma Stone shows nowhere near the amount of charm she had as Jules in Superbad and about thrice as much eye makeup. Seriously, you could insulate your fucking house with the amount of slap she has on. Abigail Breslin has gone from cute and inherently funny as Olive in Little Miss Sunshine to precocious and irritating in this flick. I suppose it's the standard Hollywood arc of growing up, but when she is given thunderingly shit age-related lines like "Yeah, twelve's the new twenty" it makes me want to gnash on the edge of my desk.

Zombieland is an absolute blast. It's genuinely fun in a way that so few films are. I knew from the awesome, Metallica scored, slo-mo intro that I was going to like what it had to offer. In fact, it's so entertaining, that it glosses over all the film's small imperfections. Yes, the character of Columbus is just a copy/pasted nerd from every Hollywood film ever, but somehow that didn't matter to me. One of the weirdest things about Zombieland is the tonal shifts. It starts off as a dark comedy, with delighfully gory zombie killings, but by the end it's so cheesy, it's squirm inducing to watch. What happened? Damned if I know, but the ending doesn't really fit with the rest of the film. Yeah, all the loose ends are tied up, but I expected better.

"Let me begin my three-part apology by saying that you're a wonderful human being."

As I said, Zombieland's a lot of fun and definitely worth checking out. In terms of zombie comedies (zomcoms) it doesn't trouble undisputed king Shaun of the Dead, but does enough to at least warrant a viewing. Recommended.

The Fourth Kind

The second of the KD/RB combo reviews, about a film so shit, they gave me their own poster to represent it. Make of that what you will. Ben

We are Kayleigh and Rob, and this a review based on the 2009 film The Fourth Kind. Whether or not you choose to believe our review is up to you, but all the evidence is here.

The Fourth Kind (2009)

The Fourth Kind begins with Milla Jovovich walking towards the screen, and lecturing the audience that the story is ‘based on real events’, and gives the choice whether the audience wants to believe or not, saying that the film contains distressing scenes. All this adds is a sense of mild confusion. The film is set in the remote Alaskan town of Nome, and follows a psychologist as she deals with patients who suffer from similar sleep disorders. All the patients wake up at the specific time of 3:33am. The reason for waking is, and it is difficult to write this, seeing a white owl looking at them through their window. A white owl. Staring. The owl is an important character, and we never find out who plays it, although it may have been Hedwig, or a muppet.

In order to understand why they wake up at this point, the psychologist puts them under hypnosis and tries to delve into their subconscious and understand what is really waking them up. In scenes like this, the screen splits and shows the “archive footage”, featuring the ‘real people’ alongside the same event, allegedly recreated for film. The film then follows the psychologists’ attempts to convince a sceptical local authority, and her own family and colleagues, that the sleeping disorders are linked to alien activity. It is intercut with ‘later’ interviews, again featuring the ‘real’ psychologist.

The Fourth Kind attempts to cash in on The Blair Witch Project by claiming that it is based on real events. However, the ‘event’ in this instance is so farfetched, and doesn’t have the subtlety of Blair Witch, so it doesn’t work as well. Whilst watching this film, a large quantity of rhubarb and custard sweets were consumed, and to be honest, they were far more interesting and were able to hold my attention. It may have helped if the film was not purporting to be a true story, because by stating it at the beginning, the end, and the ‘real footage’, it immediately evokes scepticism, which detracts from the shoddy plot.

By far the best shot of the film was a 360 degree panning shot around the owl, who follows the camera by turning his head. Neither of us were sure if this was intending to be as hilarious as it turned out. Aside from that, there are some nice aerial shots of snowy mountains, but when this is the best thing you can say about a film, then you can kind of predict what the rating is going to be...

KD & RB

Once

Right, here's TPB's first joint review, because it's apparently so fucking hard for one person to do it (joking, people!) so here's Once- a film which is apparently "Proof that chemistry and plot work better than big budget and effects every time." which is nice to know...

Ben

Once (2006)

Starring an Irishman who despite the similarities most definitely isn’t Damien Rice*, Once is the tale of a nameless Guy (Glen Hansard) and Girl (Marketa Irglovia) who meet whilst he is busking in Dublin, and discover that they share the same love of music (he the guitar, she the piano). The plot unfolds in a way that makes the viewer feel deeply connected to the story. Stylistically, the film is shot evoking a feeling of a natural story, happening in real life (the label ‘natural documentary style’, whilst technically not making sense, does seem to fit how close the audience feels to the story). The audience is almost made to feel as if the characters in this film are letting us in on their lives, imaginations, and feelings.

"During the daytime people would want to hear songs that they know, just songs that they recognize. I play these songs at night or I wouldn't make any money. People wouldn't listen.”

Both characters have relationship baggage, which they write into their songs, expressing their feelings. Obviously the music is central to the film, and rather than films which just happen to have a ‘good soundtrack’, in Once the music is almost another character, uniting Guy and Girl, and expressing itself throughout the film. The words and music are written by Hansard and Irglovia, and at no point do the songs feel forced and written by a large team of writers, which only add to the feeling of the film being a natural and genuine story, and return to the point that the viewer is witnessing something natural.

“Fantastic stuff. That'll be a hit, no question”

Despite the relatively short run time, quite a lot happens in the film. At points is simply cuts to the middle of a conversation, or an action, which enhances the films ‘diary feel’. It helps that the two leads are unknowns, and that the characters remain anonymous, as it could be a story about anybody, and this is not meant to be a criticism. You can watch (and listen) to this film again and again without tiring of it. Once is a nice, easy going, relaxing film, and you finish watching it with a smile and a sense that the sun is shining slightly brighter, even though it is rather difficult in these snow bound times!

*Whilst funny, this isn’t strictly fair, Glen Hansard does have his own musical career.

KD & RB